Elephantitus

I just read Ern's story about the woman saved from a terrorist by a pachyderm in her dream. This got me to thinking. John Kerry could totally use the republican's mascot against them. He should change his defense platform yet again. This time, he'll replace the entire military with elephants. Heck, he could even have them placed strategically around the county in key spots to thwart terrorist plots here at home. Just imagine... "I... propose... a plan... It... will be... called... Elephants... Around... the World..." The sad thing is, this would be better than any other plan he's put forth so far. Of course he'd lose the PETA vote. And Dumbo would probably be a little upset. Oh yeah, Gay and Lesbian groups would insist the Pink Elephants not be left out and all elephants should have the right to marry. Environmentalists would worry about the effects to air quality with so many elephants out and about, so that would have to be dealt with. Unions would want to be brought to the table to represent the ESF(Elephant Security Force) here at home. Civil Rights activists would insist that making fun of large proboscis' be covered under hate crime laws. Oh, and Steve would want free healthcare for all pachyderm's and their dependents(love ya steve). But I know John Kerry is up to it. He is very good and making one group happy while the other isn't paying attention. Someone should tell him not stump on this plan in Erwin though.

(For anyone offended, take none please. This was for entertainment value only.)