Letting the days go by

I still have the big part 3 post coming. It's about my family this time. Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow, I don't know.

I'm leaving shortly to get my TB skin test for work. Yay! Another needle! But, it's all worth it. I'll start work in a week and I am uber-excited.

I gotta go, duty is calling.

It's our anniversary...

Nine years ago today, I married my sweetheart. Like anyone else, we've seen out share of good and bad, but through it all we've been blessed. I've been blessed more than her though, because she continues to put up with me. We guys are so slow to grow up, and I know it drives our ladies crazy. I can't begin to tell you all how wonderful Evette is. Many of you know her and know just how unique, funny, intelligent, and driven she is. There is nothing in my life, mistakes and all, that I would go back and change for fear I wouldn't have been lead to her.

Evette, there are lots of things I could say and none would do you the justice you deserve. So I'll just say this. I love you and thank God for you.

Winter Spring Summer or Fall…

Wow, first, I can’t believe I just posted those cheesy lyrics. :) As promised...

Friends. Something most of us long for, need and seek. There is something about a sense of belonging. I know that I love to be a part of a group. But I haven’t always had the right attitude about what friends are and what being a friend means. And I am still working on it. But I have learned some lessons recently.

There have been times in my life that friendships were there for what I could get out of them. I saw people who could do favors for me, keep me from being lonely, and that could me feel good about me. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a totally selfish you know what, but I am just trying to be honest here. We’ve all been selfish in relationships. Right? Can I get an Amen? I’m not proud of this, but I’m just stating facts.

There have been other times when the reverse has happened. I have associated with groups of friends who turned this around on me. I was there for them but could rarely count on them being there for me. They never really knew who I was or what I needed. And turnabout is fair play I guess. Sometimes we have to get taste of our own medicine to learn a lesson.

This past year has been rough. You all know this. You’ve talked to me and read my blog. You know what my struggles have been. More importantly, God knew my struggles. And what did he do about? He sent a group of guys, both in my church and outside, that were there for me in a way I haven’t known. I’ve had these guys pray for me, spend time with me, slip me money, buy me something nice cause they knew I couldn’t buy something for myself, take me on short trips, hit the disc golf course with me on a whim, commented on songs I had posted on my blog, IM’ed with me when I needed a sounding board, and on and on and on. When I finally got the job, these guys were so excited, and genuinely so. I think some were more excited than me. And while I will never be able to repay the kindness and love that has been showered on me this past year, I hope that I have at least been a good friend in return.

So what have I learned? I’ve learned that friendships are two way streets and that we all bring something different to them. We bring what we have, share it, and just love one another. We shouldn’t expect anything in return, but be happy and thankful when we do. I’ve learned that some prayers aren’t answered with action. They are answered with presence. And yes, God can use you to be his presence in some ones life.

I leave you with this. Pray that God sends you good friends. But more importantly, pray that God would call you to be a good friend to someone who needs you.

One more thing… I thank you guys. You have no idea just how much you mean.

I want to ride my bicycle

An absolutely amazing thing happened today. Do you remember learning to ride a bike? I sure do. I fell off the first gazillion times I think. When I finally kept my balance. I remember yelling back, "I don't know how to turn or stop!" That was right before barreling right into a 3 foot wide tree. Well, Grandaddy got BeBe a bike for her birthday. She just turned six and had never had one nor had she learned. Today was the first decent day to go give it a try. I was all rip rarin' ready to be there to catch her and pick up her fragile little body after the first time the beast dumped her. But something I did not expect happened. I held on a for a few feet. She was pedaling for all it was worth and gained speed. I decided, what the heck, I'm letting go. Ya know what? My little squirt just pedaled off. I stopped, picked my jaw up off the street, and went to catch her. First time on a bike and boom! She's got the balance thing licked. In about 5 minutes, we had braking down. We'll still be working on turning a bit, but come on! This child is an obvious biking prodigy! :) Anyway, how could I not share that!

Later tonight or tomorrow I'll have part 2 for you concerning friends this time.

Isn't she pretty, truly the angel's best...

A couple of days ago my sweet little BeBe lost her first tooth. Man, was she excited. You'd have thought she'd been out of work for 8 months and just found out she got a job! It was really sweet though and the milestones just keep on coming.

Speaking of milestones, Zxy is just growing right on up. She's 10 going on 'drive her daddy outta his mind with worry'. There is so much coming down the pike for her that I just don't wanna see or have to deal with. But, that's what we Dad's sign on for.

Ok, so Vette has been saying I never write anything about her. Huh? Doesn't she understand it's all about me? He he he.... Well, honey, here ya go: about you. There, I wrote about you. You happy? I love you sweetie... :)

So which is the song lyric above for? Well all three of course!

I was glad when they said unto me...

In the last couple of years, I have gone through a sort of shift in how I view my family, my friends and my church. The shift is similar with all of these. So get ready for a 3 part series. I am going to concentrate on church in this first post. Tomorrow or the next day, I’m covering friends. Then after that, I’ll cover family.

Growing up, church was something we did every Sunday usually somewhere around 10 in the morning. If you were really going to be ‘right’ you’d at least wear slacks and a tie, absolutely no jeans allowed. We'd have a bible lessons in Sunday School. Then we'd all go to the sanctuary where it was imperative you be very quiet and very still while singing and listening to the preacher. When it was over, we'd walk out the big doors in the back, shake the preacher's hand, and go home. This was my idea of church for a good 18 years or so.

Then I went to college and hooked up with some folks who did church a little different. Good thing too, cause there was no way, now that I was out on my own, that I was going back to what I did for the first 18 years of my life. These people actually didn't worry too much about not being able to hear a pin drop during the service. Matter of fact, when you walked in the door there were already drums beating, people singing, and lots of dancing and rejoicing. It was such a big change for me, but one I enjoyed. Oh yeah, and no Sunday School! What were they thinking? :)

When I came home, I tried going back to the places I’d been prior to college. It didn't work. I spent quite a few years in and out of church. Then my wife and found a church that we really enjoyed. The people were nice, the music was great, and it didn’t have the feel of the churches we grew up in. Oh, and I wasn’t expected to ‘dress up’. But it was short lived. The people ended up not being who they said they were and we were hurt, badly. So, we spent a couple more years in and out of church.

That brings us to the present. So, where am I now as far as church is concerned? And what is this shift I talked about? Many of the things I have experienced in the past are still important parts of church to me. My shift in thinking comes in what is different. I go to church with people who really care about relationships and community. Most churches, be them traditional, seeker sensitive, charismatic, emergent, modern, post modern, high, low, and everything in between feel they have figured out how to BE Christians. I’m gonna be honest and say I don’t think my church has it totally figured out. And for me, that is fine. We are figuring things out together and being a community, a family. We support each other and, gasp; we spend time with one another other than Sunday morning and Wednesday night. We pray with and for one another. We mourn with each other and rejoice together when it’s time to rejoice. So far, I have witnessed authentic relationships and people who for the most aren’t afraid to share their weaknesses with one another. It’s been a real eye opening experience. I can’t wait to see where things go. I’d love to hear your comments…

It's alright, cause I'm Saved By the Bell...

You scored as Prep/Jock/Cheerleader. Prep/Jock/Cheerleader 81% Punk/Rebel 31% Ghetto gangsta 25% Loner 25% Drama nerd 19% Stoner 13% Goth 13% Geek 13% What's Your High School Stereotype? created with QuizFarm.com

You know I could be just like You

Ok, I did the band thing too. I wasn't gonna, but couldn't resist. Here are the results. These are too great.

Rich Auction
Piercing Licorice of the Lovelorn Father
Eternal Elbow
Rich Roach
Puppet of the Abbott
Ignorant Chihuahua
Punching of the Rich
Acid Rich of the Chemical Stamp
Disgusting Hippo and the Third Lady
Grand Brain of the Leaving Kitten
Rich Motion and the Baneful Glitch
Rich Tainted
Cheerful Rich
Piscatory Rich
Rich of the Punching Foot
Rich Cantaloupe
Ignorant Rich
Rich Drooling
Bottle Ham
Best of the Tainted
Dumping Fantasy
Fatty of the Rich
Dank Rich
Puke of the Rich

Bottle Ham. Wow. Clint is gonna LOVE that one I am sure. I like Best of the Tainted pretty well. Dumping Fantasy is funny too.

The Eternal Elbow, signing off.

His joy comes with the morning...

Well friends, I have had a tough few months. You've read about it and some of you have seen it with your own eyes. My faith has been tested to the point of extreme lack of comfort. But joy isn't the absence of discomfort. If I have learned anything, it's that. But it just hasn't been easy. I've been up and I've been down. I've counted my blessings and I've been angry, sometimes at God himself. I've witnessed his faithfulness and I've questioned my faith. But I have never felt like anything less than his child.

I say all of that to say this. I got the job! Praise God! I found out this morning and will start sometime in the next couple of weeks. Thank you all for being there with your prayers and your encouragement. I really don't know if I would have made it through this sane with you. And I glad that God chose you to be his instruments of glory in my situation.

Relieved...

Lift Every Voice and Sing

"I Have A Dream"
by Martin Luther King, Jr,

---

Delivered on the steps at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. on August 28, 1963. Source: Martin Luther King, Jr: The Peaceful Warrior, Pocket Books, NY 1968

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity. But one hundred years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Negro is still not free.

One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land.

So we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition. In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir.

This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation.

So we have come to cash this check -- a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of God's children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of the Negro. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights.

The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges. But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. we must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" we can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal." I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers. I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring." And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania! Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado! Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California! But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia! Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee! Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

I tell ya what ya get ya get away from me...

Any hardcore sports fan out there will know exactly what I am about to talk about and will have done it themselves in the past. It started with me anytime the Vols would lose a game. I remember doing it with the Raiders and Dodgers as well. Now I am doing it because of the Colts. I am in ESPN avoidance mode. Sportscenter is not even an option tonight or tomorrow. I just don't want to see the score over and over and hear about how they got hammered. I don't want to hear all the Peyton haters go on an on about him and big game perormance and how Tom Brady is sooooo much better. I just can't stomach it.

It's a good thing I am not a gambler. I went 1-3 with my picks this weekend. Yikes. I would say now that you should always, no matter what, take home favorites in the divisional round of the playoffs. And I am giving that tip for free. Donations will be accepted however.

Well We're Movin' on Up

I am happy to say that if you you Google, Hey ya know what, I am now at the top of that list. That's pretty cool. And even cooler, while checking how google treats all my blogging buddies, I found out that when I type in my pastor's name, my site showed second in the list after his blogger profile. Googling 'ernpac', my best friend's nickname, puts my site 3rd on that list. Too cool man, too cool.

You're Simply the Best

I am so glad that I chose Blogger over LiveJournal. All of my friends on LJ are suffering right now after a a 'massive powerloss'. I'm sure they will straighten it out, but I'd be pretty upset. Especially if I was one of those who pays for the premium service.

Big weekend of Football starts at 4:30. Here be my picks...

Rams over Falcons
Vikes over Eagles
Steelers over Jets
Colts over Pats

That's right. I am going with 3 road dogs this weekend. We'll see how it works out. I just hope we have some good games.

My friends seem to be all over the place right now. Clint gets back today from Tampa, Yay! I gotta call Hoosh. Ernie is still cold. Talked to Adam the other night. Steve got a job. Mike fell off a pole(get well buddy). Ima and I had some laughs on chat the other night. Al, I know you are reading, gimme your update and start a stinkin' blog!

Look in my eyes, what do you see?

Yeah, I'm still waiting. Woo Hoo.

So did ya hear about the judge who ruled against the school system in Atlanta? They had stickers on their science books that said evolution was a theory and not fact. He said that violated the nonexistent separation of church and state in the constitution. How does calling the theory of evolution a theory have anything to do with religion?

Are you sick of hearing about and from Randy Moss yet? How about steroids in baseball? The NHL Hockey lockout doin' anything for ya?

Ok, so here's some homework. You have a Christian band, but they want to play places that aren't expected, like church. They'll do some secular songs that, if put into context, still show their love of Jesus. Where do they play? What are some songs they could play?

It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring...

I can not remember a stretch of time like the last few months where it seemed I live in the pacific northwest as opposed to the southeast. My mood can and does change with the weather. It does with the season as well. So a dreary rainy day in January is nearly paralyzing for me! Add to it everyone in the house but one of our children, so far, has had some form or another of a stomach bug, and this week has really started off famously. And I am still waiting to hear about the job.

Ok, enough of all that. You know what can be a very uplifting and generally rockin' thing to happen? When you do something or say something that makes another person realize they don't know everything there is to know about you. That they don't quite have you pegged. Now, I wouldn't call myself a complete enigma or anything, but I do at times bust out with something totally within who I am but someone else didn't see coming. And you know I love the reaction. :)

NFL playoffs. I am a huge Colts fan. I am also a huge Peyton Manning fan. Watching the game on Sunday I was left in awe. Peyton and the boys are on such a roll it's offensive. Pun intended. A good offensive football team, clicking the way they are, is an absolute pleasure to watch. It's almost like there isn't even a defense on the field with them. They have the Pats this weekend and I think they will finally get over the hump. The road to the Super Bowl is tough for them, but if they can get there, they will win it.

He can settle any sea but it doesn't mean he will

I got a great reminder this morning at church. Pastor Kerry preached from Mark 6: 45-52. In verse 50 Jesus tells the disciples to take courage! It is I! What a wonderful message today. And Kerry gave me a big hug afterwards that meant a lot. So, I'm going to take courage! Or be of good cheer, or do whatever version of the Bible you read says to do. It's good to the know the God and creator of the universe is there to hold me when the winds blow and the waves crash. I don't always understand, and I don't always like it, but at the end of the day, what I understand and what I like just don't amount to a hill of beans.

I'm gonna smile and not get worried

The folks at Wellmont called my references on Thursday. So maybe I am going to get some news soon and hopefully the good kind.

Here is another Wal-Mart thing. If you go to Wal-Mart and have done quite a bit of shopping, slide on down and place your bags in the buggy for the person checking you out. It's an easy way to do a very nice thing for someone and you get outta there that much faster! And guess what else may just turn their day around? A little friendly conversation from us! The folks at the checkout counters there have a very thankless job.

I love the new Jimmy Eat World CD the more and more I hear it. They hit another home run.

Did a little hangin out with Hoosh last night. It was fun and he helped me get my mind off some things. Thanks buddy...

God can you hear me?

With the new year and all, I thought it a good time for a 'spill some guts' issue.

I'm not the same person I was a year ago. We can all say that I guess. But the changes I have witnessed in myself, seem more drastic than in years past, and not for the better. My self confidence is at an all-time low I think. I suppose it is because of the job situation and that really burns me. It makes me think that maybe I put too much importance on what I do or do not do as it applies to work. I've also found that I have less confidence in others. As I wait on word about this job, that I should get, I find that I have little to no confidence I am actually going to get it and that if I don't, that I'll get something good in it's stead.

Am I not faithful enough? Have I done too little? Is this a punishment? Maybe it's a lesson? I really don't care at this point what it is. Either way it hurts and it is changing me. Maybe the change will be for the better, but right now I am just tired. Tired of waiting. Tired of watching the days tick by. Tired of worrying. Tired of just hanging on. Tired of putting on a good face. Tired of being disappointed. Tired.

Maybe I am just having a bad day. Maybe the waiting is eating away at me and there is little left and before long there will be nothing. Maybe there is a miracle out there for me and it isn't time just yet.

I get encouragement from others, but it just isn't helping. Do you hear me God? Where are you? Why can't I hear you? Why can I not feel you? Is it my fault? Is it something I am doing? I think I am angry at you and I know I shouldn't be. Clean me up and set me right so I can feel your presence. My faith is thin, but it's still there. Strengthen my faith because I'll continue to be faithful. Just hurry. If you are stripping me down, then there isn't much left to take. What there is left I gladly give to you. Just hurry. Please.

UPDATE: When I got the end of writing the above, I decided to call the guy at Wellmont. Still no final decision there he says. So I wait.

Catch a hold of my blues and just play them...

The holidays are great. They really are. But the past few weeks I have watched a good part of my time playing music and what not take a back seat. Dad and I had a conversation and them John, our drummer and I had the same one. We just can't wait to get some things fired up musically. We are ready to learn some new songs and play some gigs. With Ern moving away, we are down a guitar player. Sure would like to find someone to come play with us. If you know anyone, or you're reading and you play, please holla!

Speaking of music and such. I have started writing two new songs. One I have the music for, the other I have the words for. And no, I wish I could, but can't put them together. Here is something interesting about writing songs. No matter how good I feel about a song I write, I constantly hear a song and think, Wow, I wish I had written that. I am so in awe of good songwriters. One day I might be good. Maybe.

Still haven't heard about the job. I was thinking it would be this week, so we'll see. I'm beginning to have fears and doubts creep in. At times it makes me go into a near full blown panic attack. Even typing this right now makes my breath feel like it's going short. The enemy is constantly whispering things in my ear like "what if" and "why do you even deserve" and other such things. So pray for me.

Till the next time, ain't got no troubles in my life. Yeah, right. :)

Even children get older...

Some of you have never gotten to see my young'uns...

I ran my mouth off a bit too much oh what can I say

Well, I decided not to do a Bests list. Instead, it is a favorites lists. That I tell you what I thought about things without telling you what you should think about things. I may add to it later. Here ya go, Favs of 2004.

Favorite Album - Switchfoot - The Beautiful Letdown

Favorite Songs - Float On - Modest Mouse, Indescribable - Chris Tomlin, Fall to Pieces - Velvet Revolver (how's that for variety?)

Favorite Movie - Spiderman 2

Favorite Sports Moment - The Red Sox comeback against the Yankees to get to and eventually win the World Series.

Favorite Kid Moment - Taking BeBe to her first day of Kindergarten.

Favorite Wife Moment - Of course there are too many to name!

Favorite Friend Moment - Clint winning the TCFFL title. Man, that was awesome.

Favorite Game - NFL 2K5 for Xbox.

I...I Will Begin Again

Well, Happy New Year Folks! We start our calendar over, make resolutions, and watch college football. As I type, UT leads Texas A&M 28-0 in the Cotton Bowl. My buddy Hoosh is down at the game so I just called and they are very happy with their visit to the great state of Texas.

So I thought I would list some best type things from 2004 as I saw it. I'll post it later today, or tomorrow. Right now, gonna watch this game!